Monday, January 23, 2012

New to This

This public blogging is new to me. Please be patient as I learn the rules, the ropes, the pros, the cons and learn from my mistakes. I just want an avenue for writing my ideas and developing my thoughts. I mean no offense and would appreciate any critiques and constructive criticism.

Thank you.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

A Different Job

Our job is unconditional love. The job of everyone else in our life is to push our buttons. --Byron Katie

When I found this quote a couple of weeks ago, it kind of brought everything I've been thinking about lately full circle.

I've been thinking a lot about "Grace". Trying to figure it out - define it; refine it; visualize it; accept it; practice it. Totally understanding it might be above my pay grade, though. But I'm working on it.

So far I think I've figured out we've all been given Grace freely and unconditionally and we're supposed to give Grace to others freely and unconditionally. That's the easy part to figure out and I'm still reading trying to increase my understanding. Then I found this article on a blog on The question was not specifically applicable but I thought the overall message addressed a lot of things that are so true but we are all hesitant to admit. I'll probably get in trouble for posting it but I'm going to do it anyway simply because, well, it's my blog and I'm sitting alone in my chair with no one to break my fingers if I do and also because I want to be reminded of the truths in it. And, in the meantime, I'll keep learning about "grace" and how I need to improve.

Here's the link. LIFEadvice - How to Stop the Fighting in Your Family

There. I did it. There are certainly many challenges in there for me to improve on and I'm going to try. I hope others will help me redirect myself when I slip into old comfortable ways. I've learned that's called "Homeostasis" - that slipping back into your old self now and again. But that's a post for another day. 

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Interested or Committed?

I finally reached my breaking point. My anxiety level rose five notches with every instance of the "imminent failure" blackscreen message. Would this be the time? The realization of how addicted I am to my laptop is frightening. So, anyway, I ordered a new hard drive. I stared at it all through the holidays. Or, rather, it stared at me, taunting me. Trying to entice me away from the Christmas projects that were piled up in front of me.

It finally broke me down, though, and I set up the card table. I broke out the hodge podge computer tools I've collected over the years of amateur DIY computer repairs. Cord disconnected. Battery removed. I'm committed. Or maybe I should be. Anyway, I did it.

The old hard drive is out. Its replacement is in. Now the work begins.

I get to sort through all the programs I had installed on the old drive and reinstall them on the new one. Yippee for me. I have to track down registration and activation codes and passwords and hope they'll work one more time. How often did I really use that program? Is it worth putting it back on and using up space and memory? Please don't let me lose all my photos!!

Here I am now. The most used programs are up and running. My photos are safe again. And here I sit staring at my laptop, wishing I could do this with my life. I don't care about a total hard drive replacement but could I at least reformat? Maybe not even all the partitions but the major ones. Maybe I'd choose different programs to install - realizing a lot of what used up my time and attention was really not worth wasting space on anymore. I could be more selective. I've gotten more perspective since the initial installations and understand more what's important and what's not and what could be done different. Hopefully I've upgraded along the way but sometimes I wonder if I've really kept up. I should invent a diagnostic tool to run on myself and determine {objectively, of course} where my weak areas are and if there is any "imminent failure" hovering about. I shudder to think this train of thought might be somewhat parallel to New Year's Resolutions. I do so hate that whole ritual. But maybe if I think of myself as reformatting {sounds more long-lasting, long-term than that 'other' thing}, I might be able to make some progress.
"When we are interested, we will do whatever is convenient. When we are committed, we will do whatever it takes." --John Assaraf
I guess I need to decide if I'm as committed to my own reformat as I was to that of my laptop. Whether I'm as addicted to perfecting my own life as much as I was to perfecting my laptop. Hmmm.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Something More to Ponder On

I've watched a couple of movies lately that have now been added to my "Must Have" list. I'm still thinking about exactly what they were saying and how I want to absorb what they were trying to say.

One of them was the "Adjustment Bureau" and the other was "Life, or Something Like It". They both ended up having a lot of common threads running through them and I thought it was odd that I ended up with both of them in the order I did. Even that went along with some of the concepts and thoughts that were portrayed. Examples of other ideas about things happening for a reason and the choices we have to control our destiny and how much impact little changes can have in the long run also have left me thinking. Why do I love symbolism and parallels so much? I guess when I can compare an abstract concept to something familiar, it's easier for me to grasp and deal with. Just me and my mind trying to get along.

The "Adjustment Bureau" has a group of men {with hats} who make "adjustments" when people make choices that veer them off the 'big plan'. Originally they try to keep their "adjustments" simple enough to keep the number of ripples down to a minimum. Not only did it reinforce my belief that everything happens for a reason, it also made me realize again that there is no such thing as a little, insignificant choice. There is a ripple effect to everything. What is even funnier is that we learned about choices and consequences in Primary yesterday.

"Life, or Something Like It" reinforced the idea that I really don't like Angelina Jolie but I overlooked that as much as possible. A street preacher prophesies her imminent death in a few days and, after a few of his minor prophesies come true, she begins to believe she really is going to die. With the help of a one of those 'too-good-to-be-true' friends she tries to redirect her priorities in life but just doesn't go deep enough with the changes she makes. She does try, though. And I think her efforts still make an impact on the outcome. I just like the idea of second chances. Kind of like "Premonition", too.

And so, sort of on that same note, the hard drive on my laptop has been prophesying an "imminent failure" for close to two months now. I believed it enough to purchase another hard drive {I'd have preferred a whole new laptop} but have procrastinated the actual replacing of the drive {something to do with eleven pairs of pjs, doll clothes and tents}, hoping against hope that the warning screens were just a fluke. I'm hoping all the important stuff of my life is saved, backed up and protected from disappearance so I can just step right back into all this without losing important little snippets of my life....or something like it.

Monday, December 12, 2011

On Innkeepers and Second Chances

I recently realized the only thing worse than trying to blow a hole in my belief in Santa Claus is to suggest that possibly the way we hear the story of the Innkeeper's actions on that First Christmas night might not be a totally correct version of what happened. I was totally flabbergasted when my sister suggested {rather harshly} that perhaps the innkeeper didn't actually offer his stable to the weary visitors {Mary & Joseph} he so roughly turned away. Maybe they just stumbled upon it or were led to it or it was just there where they were when their energy gave out.

This is our nativity from 2010. I had Grampa make an Inn door for the

express purpose of having an Innkeeper. As you can see, Carter is not

pleased to be the Innkeeper. He kept asking if he was a bad person.

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! The Innkeeper is the epitome of 2nd Chances.

 I don't like to think about the Christmas story without the innkeeper having the chance to redeem himself, to make amends, to give of himself, to right a wrong, to ease another's burden. I mean, seriously, that's what Christmas is all about, isn't it?

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Early Christmas Present

I ordered my Christmas present shortly after Thanksgiving. The truck delivered it to the dock at IFA; Alan loaded it onto his truck and we unloaded it into our basement.

I didn't get serious about taking pictures at the onset of this project because I felt it was in my best interests to lay low. Survival is a basic instinct, you know. I think it was actually walking in on this scene and seeing LOML actually perusing what appeared to be instructions that made me choose to risk my life. Half in shock, half in disbelief, I threw caution to the wind and ran for my camera.

Upon closer observation, it was confirmed LOML was unbelievably - but most assuredly - referring to the instruction manual. Wow!

This is not a tool you will find listed or pictured in the manual. This is a DIY tool creation for when your own tool falls into the internal recesses of a semi-constructed exercise machine and needs to be fished out. Luckily LOML is an avid fisherman!

I guess you could say this particular post is based on time lapse photography because:



Much better than a doll stroller I remember from years past. Santa's Elves better watch their backs!

Thank you!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011


Probably not the first time I've used that as my title. Definitely won't be the last time. It's pretty much my mantra.

I am Woman today because I actually found Joe, Mandy and Reagan in Salt Lake! Directions were flying at me right and left and north and south and I still did it!! Something about staying on 4th South until I reach 8th South and then going West until I hit East and pass by {emphasis on the PASS BY} a Northern Exposure Nightclub. I only panicked once and that was when I PASSED BY a Southern Exposure Nightclub. Wasn't sure if I was heading the wrong direction or if the Giver of Directions had misspoke. Actually my biggest concern wasn't necessarily my directional disability but more that I would be on the nightly news as the latest victim in a TRAX collision.

As it turned out, finding Joe & Mandy in Salt Lake wasn't my only victory, though. Without any GPS whatsoever, I actually walked right up to them in Sears. Duh. The tool department. They treated me to supper and we had a fun, if not way too short, visit. Then I went North and they went South. After, of course, going East to a West road and turning right onto another road that turned into a Beck that would magically dump me onto the freeway. Somehow I lost Centerville on the way home but, oh well, I found Riverdale's Target.

It was a spontaneously fun afternoon.

However, something else that stood out to me was how quickly Rememberings came back. A lot has changed and rearranged and closed up and moved but the basics were still there. In my mind anyway. We spent a lot of time in Salt Lake when Nathan was growing up. Every three months, every six months, once a week when they were making/fitting his legs. Some of the main Rememberings that refreshed my mind were:

  • The row of trees by Sears where a man was sleeping on the ground and Joe was sure he had fallen out of the tree. I'm thinking he couldn't have climbed the tree, even if he'd wanted to.

  • The KFC where we ate lunch a lot when it was just me and Nathan and I dumped Nathan out of his wheelchair onto the sidewalk - more than once, I'm afraid.

  • Lunches spent at Sizzler where everyone could get what they wanted and all they wanted of it.

  • Looking at all the mansions up in the Avenues by Shriner's. Unfathomable.

  • Driving up to the shop in the middle of winter with the hood of our Suburban wired down and the fender wired up and Joe's Micro Mini car set scattered in pieces.

  • The sleepovers at Grandma G's the night before.

  • Feliz Navidad. Over and over. And over.

  • Pound puppies at Christmas.

  • All the other children with physical problems that left me grateful for what we dealt with.

  • The traffic and congestion that made me grateful we lived in small-town USA, aka Delta.

Okay, so maybe I did kind of get lost on Memory Lane for a bit.