Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Tribute to Manhood

I was downloading pictures from my camera and was reminded of this testosterone moment gone bad. Poor Alan. Where to start . . .

Nathan gave Alan an old HomeLite chainsaw for Father's Day. Nothing heavy duty - mostly just to use for cutting wet firewood when we're camping. So Alan has a new chain put on it and packs it on our camping trip over the 4th of July. The last day we were at camp, we went for a ride up the road. Maybe half a mile up, there was a quaking aspen laying across the road about waist-chest high. It wasn't there the night before but Alan remembers seeing it leaning and wondering if and when it was going to fall all the way. The blowing wind through the night evidently was all it took. We weren't the first ones to come upon the fallen tree, however.

There was another grampa with his grandson and that grampa was carving his grandson's name in a chunk of the tree. Alan gets out and talks to him for a bit and I can tell by his hand motions he wants to be able to have the name-carved chunk saved. So . . . you see where this is leading? Yup. After some deliberation as to whether Alan has the correct oil or not, Alan goes back to camp and gets his chainsaw. Can you hear the motor revving already??

He makes the first cut. No problem. Alan's pumped. He attempts the second cut. Problem. Not only does the tree split right through the middle of the name-carved chunk, but Alan's chainsaw is trapped in the tree.

Enter a couple camping a little ways away who have heard the chainsaw. Hmmm. How can I describe this gentleman and his wife? Suffice it to say, we may camp redneck. They totally looked it. They're older than us. She's skinny, skinny and in Daisy Mae shorts and a spaghetti strapped tank top with flip flops. He's twice her size; bearded, pony-tailed, wearing a sleeveless muscle shirt, levis and boots. He sees Alan's dilemma and immediately returns to camp for his "Husqvarna". While he's gone, the little wife mentions her husband's "Husqvarna" several times and how it will save the day. Never a chain saw. Always his "Husqvarna". Something about he worked one whole summer to buy her a vacuum and him this "Husqvarna". His "Husqvarna" will save Alan and his "HomeLite".

Pretty soon Redneck comes back with his "Husqvarna" hoisted up on his shoulder, holding it up there by the tip of the blade. He revs the motor and his first cut frees Alan's "HomeLite". And Redneck keeps cutting. Alan's not going to be outdone - even though there's not much of the tree left to cut. Alan starts his "HomeLite" again - it takes him awhile because his "HomeLite" doesn't have an electric start like Redneck's "Husqvarna". And Alan makes one more successful cut. His "HomeLite" and his manhood have been redeemed!

PS - I did finally add the picture of Alan's pup tent to the previous post, too!

No comments:

Post a Comment