Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Alignments and Other Anomalies

Sometimes I wonder . . .

. . . how the universe is created so it holds together and how it is aligned perfectly so as to prevent planets from colliding with each other and stars from crashing into suns and assure the cow always clears the moon.

. . . why it has to be so cold that I get excited when I hear it's warming up to 4°!


 Sometimes I wonder . . .

. . . how a Sunday School teacher can get sick and the substitute who fills in for him just happens to be kind of cute and has a cool leather belt from Bolivia and then one day I wake up and realize he's the love of my life {LOML} and I've been married to him for 34 years.

. . . why my 3rd grade teacher told us that Main Street would ALWAYS run north and south. {random, I know, but this bit of ill-gotten knowledge really bothers me!}

Sometimes I wonder . . .

. . . how four-way stop intersections were designed so precisely and how cool it is that there is a stop sign facing oncoming cars from each of the four different directions on the compass.

. . . why some mornings my routine falls into place smoother and more efficiently than other mornings. I swear sometimes I honestly wake up to my alarm after only one snooze smack instead of 45 minutes later {Alan would be hard pressed to believe that}, my straightener heats up faster, I select my earrings, get dressed and defrost the windshield and am at the Crossroads by 8:49 am with the very positive affirmation circling in my head, "Yes! I have already put a dent in my day! This day will only get better!"

Sometimes I wonder . . .

. . . if the front fender of a green Envoy will line up with the passenger side of a maroon Jimmy.  

. . . what I was thinking when I called the LOML {obviously to take pictures!} for moral support and bit of compassion. 

. . . if it's warmer in the front seat of UHP car than my own {now uniquely vented} front seat.

. . . why men think food solves everything.

Just thought I'd share some of the things I wonder about on a daily basis. After this morning, some of those wonderings are now knowledge.

Yeah, well, my morning routine did go extremely smooth this morning and I was at the Crossroads at precisely 8:49am. I hadn't put a dent in my day yet, but I was getting close! Thank goodness the windshields weren't icy because, if you remember, I'm not a window scraper - I let the defroster clean the windshield for me - and usually barely enough to see out of. Had that been the case, I may not have had the law so fully on my side.

Anyway, I stopped at the 4-way stop headed west. The green Envoy was rolling to a stop headed south and I was confident it was coming to a full stop. I thought I'd made the typical 'eye contact' with the driver and so I started through the intersection. A split second later, I saw the monster. It was gigantic, with a life all its own with gaping, saliva-dripping teeth and wild, bloodshot eyes rolling back and forth . . . okay. . . maybe that was a bit exaggerated but you get the idea. It wasn't so much the vehicle coming at me that startled me as the force of the impact. I don't think they really came to a complete stop and then she must have gunned the engine. I pulled off the road a little bit - not sure how far I could go before I was going to cross the line into "leaving the scene of an accident" territory.

One of the parts of this whole scenario that lined up in my favor was that there was already a UHP car pulled off the road barely past the Crossroads and so there was immediate assistance - and a witness. I, of course, being in shock and allowing the adrenalin racing through my body to influence my decisions, could think of only one thing to do - call LOML. While I was waiting for him to come, still not having seen who was driving the other vehicle, I prayed the driver wasn't a ward member or a client. I mean, you just can't go around hitting other ward members with your vehicle. Doesn't that require meetings with the Bishop and wearing sack cloth and ashes until forgiveness is meted out? And, if it was a client, chances are they wouldn't be insured and they would probably be under the influence of some sort of medication. My prayer was answered.

So, LOML got there and spent most of his time laughing and snapping pictures. I thought the UHP officer was on my side because he laughed when I said, "And I called him, why????" but then, when he started snapping pictures of me while I was in the UHP car, the officer actually rolled the window down so he could get a better shot and then offered to put the 'silver bracelets' on me! Men can be so fickle sometimes! I sat with LOML in his truck while we were waiting for the paperwork and he, very kindly and compassionately, picked the almonds out of his can of mixed nuts and shared them with me. Problem solved. I had to smile.

So, short story long, it wasn't my fault. There were no injuries. The Jimmy is still drivable, {until they tell us where to take it to get it fixed} but with air conditioning. And, it just so happened I had been inspired to make a batch of Manna a couple of days before so there was comfort food when I got home! It may not have been the morning I had lined up, but a lot of things lined up to keep it from being as bad as it could have been.


  1. OH Janis! I'm so very glad you are okay! I'm also very glad I know you, because you may very well be one of the best people I've ever met!

  2. I'm so glad your morning was uneventful! Did you spill your Pepsi Max when hit? I can joke around because it wasn't your fault and because you're okay. I'm so glad for that. Please be safe!

  3. I find it funny that LOYL found the situation funny. I'm glad you weren't hurt. I pray for all my sisters and their families. Tell LOYL hello and to take good care of you.