Monday, May 16, 2011


Yes, if you're reading this, I have gone like a lamb to the slaughter. The one thing that makes you realize you really are over 50 is when the doctor tells you it's time for this 'procedure' {I prefer to call it a ghastly violation}. Grrrr. Oh, well, I did successfully put him off for a few years. {Guess I shouldn't have said that and then ya'll would've gone on believing I was only 50}.

Yup, the colonoscopy. I know. Many of you {oh, wait, was that all of you????} just threw up in your mouths and are covering your eyes because I've blogged tooooooo much information. Just wait until you're 50, that's all I have to say!

My two biggest fears, though, about this whole 'procedure'?

  1. I'll say something stupid, embarrassing, or totally idiotic while under the influence of the anesthesia. {or worse, yet, I'll snort or make some other gross noise}.

  2. After it's all over and they send me home, I'll see dead people. {You'll have to watch the movie "Ghost Town" to understand that fear - which, by the way, I chose to watch last night}.

So, there's a checkbox on the paperwork where you can mark if you want to talk to the doctor beforehand. I've checked it. I have but two requests:

  1. Duct tape my mouth shut

  2. If I lose consciousness, let me be.

Enough said.


  1. There was a couple once who wanted M & P to "double date" to get colonoscopies... Anyway, good luck to you & I hope nothing too embarrassing is said! Love you!

  2. Well, being the oldest sister, I was able to put my procedure off for longer than you did. I don't remember any of it. And all you will do is fart in the recovery room but they will assure you that is okay (but I don't remember farting, although my good husband keeps telling me I did). He had to be there to drive me home. Good luck.

  3. Your biggest fear should be that Dad went with you and is going to belly laugh about all the embarrassing things you do/say. I can't wait to hear about them! :) oh, and I love you!