Monday, May 16, 2011

Baaaaaahhhhh

Yes, if you're reading this, I have gone like a lamb to the slaughter. The one thing that makes you realize you really are over 50 is when the doctor tells you it's time for this 'procedure' {I prefer to call it a ghastly violation}. Grrrr. Oh, well, I did successfully put him off for a few years. {Guess I shouldn't have said that and then ya'll would've gone on believing I was only 50}.



Yup, the colonoscopy. I know. Many of you {oh, wait, was that all of you????} just threw up in your mouths and are covering your eyes because I've blogged tooooooo much information. Just wait until you're 50, that's all I have to say!



My two biggest fears, though, about this whole 'procedure'?


  1. I'll say something stupid, embarrassing, or totally idiotic while under the influence of the anesthesia. {or worse, yet, I'll snort or make some other gross noise}.

  2. After it's all over and they send me home, I'll see dead people. {You'll have to watch the movie "Ghost Town" to understand that fear - which, by the way, I chose to watch last night}.


So, there's a checkbox on the paperwork where you can mark if you want to talk to the doctor beforehand. I've checked it. I have but two requests:


  1. Duct tape my mouth shut

  2. If I lose consciousness, let me be.


Enough said.

3 comments:

  1. There was a couple once who wanted M & P to "double date" to get colonoscopies... Anyway, good luck to you & I hope nothing too embarrassing is said! Love you!

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  2. Well, being the oldest sister, I was able to put my procedure off for longer than you did. I don't remember any of it. And all you will do is fart in the recovery room but they will assure you that is okay (but I don't remember farting, although my good husband keeps telling me I did). He had to be there to drive me home. Good luck.

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  3. Your biggest fear should be that Dad went with you and is going to belly laugh about all the embarrassing things you do/say. I can't wait to hear about them! :) oh, and I love you!

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