Wednesday, March 14, 2012

An Ah-Ha Moment

So, I was just sitting here at work drooling over my frosty Pepper 10 {I've already had my Max} which I just poured into my frosty mug. Whenever my world slows down and there isn't a whole lot being forced into my brain, demanding my immediate attention, I tend to start visualizing different aspects of my life and people in my life and situations in my life and problem areas in my life and try to sort things through with Heavenly Father. Those thoughts were all the more fresh and tender today, too, thanks to just having had an awesome weekend and putting new pictures of my grandkids in frames around my desk and then Pandora was playing one of my favorite songs by Joshua Kadison, "Beautiful in My Eyes". Perhaps all that combined made me a little more open than I normally would have been. Whatever the reason, I actually had an epiphelation!!

"And what was your epiphelation" you might ask? {assuming you're interested}

"I need to apologize to LOML."


That's not the actual, whole, entire, total epiphelation that created my Ah-Ha experience. The need to apologize is merely the outcome of my epiphelation but you have to start somewhere, I always say.

Ever since LOML told me his 'inspirational' story some 30-odd years ago, I have berated him, laughing at the story itself, even using it as an example of how LOML doesn't care enough to help me - I'm on my own. Well, I just saw the whole scenario played out in a different light.

"LOML, I'm sorry for not properly appreciating your efforts and your story." There.

"So, what was your actual epiphelation", you might ask? {assuming you're still interested}

After I became aware of the song that my subconscious mind was hearing, my conscious mind started listening closer to the words. At various points in the song, I pictured either my children, my grandchildren, my family or my close friends. And that's when the story randomly came back to my mind.

Maybe it wasn't actual motivation or the desire to achieve something specific and tangible that the Farmer wanted the Boy to find when he was holding his head under the water in the horse trough.

Maybe it was the fact that the Farmer knew life was going to throw a multitude of experiences and people at the Boy, in an attempt to hold him down {maybe not as literally as he was doing to him at the time}. When the Boy had a knowledge inside of him of who he was and that he was loved by a power greater than anything holding him in the water; when that knowledge was as strong as his desire to breathe - then he would succeed at anything. It wouldn't matter how many times the Boy got dunked and how heavy with soaked water his clothes became.

Inside the Boy would know he was a Child of God, that he was Loved and he would resurface and shake off the water and go on.

Sometimes {okay, the majority of the time} you just have to have that knowledge somewhere deep enough inside of you that all the water in the world can't fade it or wash it out. Because, believe me, the world is not going to bend over backwards spewing forth flowery words and praises to remind you of how beautiful you are!

You just have to KNOW. For yourself. In yourself. By yourself. KNOW it as strongly as you want to experience that next refreshing breath of air that's just waiting for you.

If your knowledge fades and you need a little jolt to get your head out of the horse trough, just remember,

"You will always be beautiful in my eyes!" 

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