Tuesday, October 16, 2012

A D0se 0f S0meth1ng

1t’s the annual “Chang1ng 0f the Passw0rds” event at w0rk. The wh0le event 1s d1ctated 8y all the rules and laws put 1n place t0 pr0tect the pr1vacy and pr0tect10n 0f whatever 1nf0rmat10n s0me0ne m1ght glean fr0m the c0mputer sh0uld they have s0me crav1ng t0 kn0w s0me0ne's mental health d1agn0s1s. Anyway, 1t has t0 8e an alpha-numer1c passw0rd s0 1 spent the aftern00n su8st1tut1ng num8ers f0r letters s0 my passw0rd w0uld 8e uncracka8le {and 1 w1ll pr08a8ly w0nder what the heck 1 was th1nk1ng c0me t1me t0 have t0 actually type 1t 1n mult1ple t1mes a day}. N0t sure what any 0f that has t0 d0 w1th what 1'm wr1t1ng.

1 th0ught 1 had L0ML talked 1nt0 help1ng me muck 0ut the st0rage r00m t0n1ght. 0f c0urse, my plans f0r the st0rage r00m enta1led putt1ng the tw0 8eds 1n the d0wnsta1rs 8edr00ms up 0n l1fters. That w0uld ena8le me t0 st0re the plast1c t0tes 0f h0l1day dec0rat10ns and suppl1es under the 8eds, thus clear1ng a c0uple 0f g00d lengths 0f shelves f0r all the stuff 1n the cl0set s0 1 can put all the extra 8lankets and 8edd1ng 1n the cl0set s0 1 can empty the dresser s0 1 can take 1t t0 my s1ster's f0r her ca81n. Everyth1ng 1s s0 c0nfus1ngly 1ntertw1ned that the start1ng p01nt 1s very cleverly c0ncealed. 1 f1nd ske1ns 0f yarn that g1ve me the same d1lemmas - just h0w d0 they c0nceal 80th ends 0f the yarn s0 well?

Anywell, we s0rta started w1th the 8ed {1'd already put 0ne 0f the 8eds 0n r1sers}. We put the frame t0gether and h00ked 1t t0 the frame {1t was a 8ed frame that 8el0nged t0 L0ML's dad}. Dr0pp1ng the 80xspr1ngs d0wn 0nt0 the frame, 1t 8ecame 08v10us that we had a frame f0r a d0u8le 8ed and a queen s1zed 80xspr1ngs and mattress. 1t was t1me t0 eat supper.

That was 1t. Wh1le eat1ng supper, 1 d1d the unf0rg1vea8le {1n my m1nd, anyway} and g0t sucked 1nt0 the pres1dent1al de8ate. S0me0ne had 8etter have mercy 0n my s0ul. 8ef0re L0ML and 1 m0ved t0 Deseret, he sent me 0n a sh0pp1ng tr1p t0 8uy a washer and dryer. Every place 1 went t0ld me the1r 8rand was the 8est and all the 0ther 8rands were trash. The1r sales p1tches were always 90% 8ash1ng the 0ther 8rands and 10% pr0m0t1ng what the1r 8rand c0uld d0. A few years after that, 1 remem8er g01ng t0 a dem0nstrat10n at a fr1end's h0use. She had a gentleman there wh0 was sell1ng 8readm1xers. At the end 0f the n1ght 1 went h0me d1sgusted 8ecause h1s 0nly sell1ng appr0ach was t0 tell us everyth1ng the 0ther 8rands 0f 8readm1xers c0uldn't d0 0r d1d wr0ng. 1 just wanted the facts - s0meth1ng tang18le s0 1 had s0meth1ng s0l1d t0 8ase a dec1s10n 0n. When the de8ate was 0ver, 1 felt the same way as 1 d1d after washers and dryers and 8readm1xers. Just g1ve me s0me facts.

N0w, at the end 0f n1ght, the 0nly facts 1 have are my queen-s1zed mattress w0n't f1t 0n my d0u8le-s1zed frame s0 1t's n0w 8ack 0n the queen-s1zed frame w1th tw0 spl1t l0gs h0ld1ng 1t up 1n the m1ddle and, 8ecause 0f everyth1ng 8e1ng 1ntertw1ned w1th n0 clearcut 8eg1nn1ng, my st0rage r00m 1s st1ll 1n need 0f de-muck1ng.

Th1s 1s an unpa1d advert1sement pr0m0t1ng my san1ty {0r the lack there0f} and 1 appr0ved 1ts c0ntent {0r lack there0f}. 1f 1 am ever elected t0 anyth1ng, 1 pr0m1se y0u that all 8eds w1ll 8e the same s1ze and y0u w1ll n0t 8e requ1red t0 create or remem8er letter and num8er c0m81nat10ns. 0h, yeah, and st0rage r00ms w1ll be self-clean1ng.


  1. Great, thanks for reminding me I have to come up with TWO (not one, but TWO) new passwords. *sigh*

    also, why did they only give us 3 days notice for this?!

  2. I am so proud of myself for actually being able to read this entire post! Maybe i'll be able to crack your code. We could have a de junking party.

  3. I agree with Nellie. That's what makes your blog fun. Lots of Love.