Sunday, November 18, 2012

My Doomsday Prediction

At 10:30am on Sunday, November 18, 2012, I {me and myself included} predicted that the end of the world would take place within the next five hours. Step aside Mayans and FLDS soothsayers! By all appearances, I was right on the money, too!!

I looked back while walking out of my bedroom and concluded if it didn't look like Ground Zero would look like, it certainly was a crime investigator's nightmare. Hell, it was even my nightmare! When {if} I survived and returned to reclaim this little spot I call home, my first response would be that someone had looted the place in my absence. But then I would remember...

It's the Primary Program today. That means, not only are the last twelve months of songs and practicing {or lack of practicing} crammed into the next few hours but I need to figure out what I'm going to wear.

I'll be sitting at the piano bench at the front of the chapel the whole time. I need to find something in my closet {or combine stuff from drawers and closet} that will:

  • hide the sagging parts

  • hold in the bulging parts

  • keep firm the waving parts

Hair also needs to look somewhat decent {I got halfway through straightening it before realizing my curling iron had turned off. Evidently it is only programmed to shut off after a certain amount of time. It doesn't register if it's being used or not}. Makeup needs to be applied {where are my granddaughters when I need them?} Socks need to match - as well as shoes.

I would take a picture of my room but it would be too embarrassing. Drawers were flung open. Clothes strewn from the bed to the floor to the bathroom. I thought about sending pictures to my girls of my wardrobe choices to get their opinions but don't know how they take self portrait pictures. I snoozed my "Get Dressed" alarm until I could snooze it no longer and was forced to put in my ears {and my earrings}, put on my eyes and find my rings and leave wearing the last thing I tried on

Fast forward three hours and I am forced to recant my prediction. The world did not end. Come out of your bunkers. Stop eating your MRE's. And put away your bucket toilet. Sigh.

The program went amazingly well, leaving the spirit with everyone in attendance.

My room, however, still looks like Ground Zero.

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