I trusted the process, the people, the circumstances....I trusted Karma in general.
Everything can fall smoothly into place. Everyone can play their part. But let one player forget their part or choose to adlib for a moment or be caught off guard (having forgotten their cues) and the whole play gets bad reviews.
Evidently I don't have the faith to back up my trust. My body does not emanate naturally occurring positive ions. It's so hard to play a part that isn't written for me. Or that I don't feel is written for me. Or that I just flat out don't want to memorize and rehearse those lines.
And so I ask, "Which part is mine?"
Not necessarily a rhetorical question but there is really no firm answer to it.
And so I'm left to figure it out. Every minute of every day. The only thing I know for sure it the answer is fluid.
I, too, must learn to be fluid.